Poverty is a Silver Lining or Adventures of an old car, a sick cat and a frog

You’ll be happy to know that owing to a low financial status I cannot afford to bump myself off now. Benton County Funeral home charges $975+ fees for death certificates. Geez there is SO much detail in dying! If I don’t snuff it before my parents (since I have no kids, husband, siblings) I have to find some kind of an executor to attend to spreading the good news of my passing to credit card companies, etc. Rollins (Dignity Group) wants $2000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Same deal, no ceremony, just a Ziploc baggie of you!  I had an Allyssa Method (copyright 1975 Allyssa Riley) moment and told them that was REALLY steep!  So there you have it.  Still, I’m going to book this thing before they get even MORE expensive!!!!!! You’ve got to go some time you know! Another thing on poverty. I might be able to get free health insurance through the state. Might try to get on welfare and food stamps just for kicks once the government is up a running again. Hey, I’m unemployed, I have nothing better to do with my time, right??!?!?!?!

    The great news is that the yellow VW is back and sounds great. After today’s oil drip scare and the smell of burning plastic I’m a bit afraid to drive it. I’m going to make Dad drive it for awhile. For all this it drives really well. I’ll have to start pumping iron to use the shifter now though. MAN is it tight! While the oil drip was being fixed or cat Baby who is huge and a killer caught a frog. Mom managed to get it away from him before he killed it and caught Baby who needed to go to the vet for an abscess in the bargain. We had to unscrew the top of the kitty carrier to get him in. It was legs and tail everywhere!  Off he went and Dad moved the stunned frog to a safer place. It was really cute. It had a big green diamond on its back and had a white tummy. I’ve never seen such a big wild frog. It was almost as big as Baby’s head!
     Then a lady called from MSSU in Joplin to ask for an interview for this writing job I REALLY wanted but the pay was only $14/hour and there is no relocation provided. So, I can’t afford to move there to take it!  #$@#$!!!!!!  First real interview in 11 years, and I had to turn it down!!!
  Then I went to church practice early in case the VW stalled. It made it just fine. I am starting to learn the organ. The feet are the killers. Now I have to get organ shoes. $50 egad! I hope my friend’s spares will fit me until some money comes drifting my way. I always thought it would be nice to find a briefcase of money or a pirate’s treasure chest!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So that is my story for today. I hope tomorrow is quieter!

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